I held his paw and slept by his side for 14 days in hospital. But it turned out, all the love in the world wasn’t enough to save him. Thus begins the final post on Life of Dozer.
My dearest Dozer,
You came into my life in my arms, holding you protectively. And after almost 14 years together, I held you in my arms protectively again as I said goodbye.
I was sobbing so hard, I forgot everything I wanted to say to you in our final moments together.
So I started writing this letter to you, to say all those things.
I wanted to reminisce about our wonderful times – the thousands of visits to the dog beach, all the wonderful food we sampled together, the cuddles, the neck-scratching-sessions, our road trips.
I wanted to thank you for spreading the joy that is you with readers all around the world, for happily coming along with me to meet readers at events, book signings, fund raisers, lunches, dinners, not to mention TV shows, photo shoots, and my gosh, we can’t forget our stint on Play School!
But as I sit here, typing away with tears streaming down my face, I realise that’s not what I want to say to you.
What I want to say is thank you.
Thank you for giving me your whole heart.
Thank you for giving me your unconditional loyalty.
Thank you for loving me just as I am, for all my flaws, for never caring what I weigh, what I wear, what I look like.
Thank you for always being there, my one constant through the good and bad times.
Thank you for making me smile, even on the hardest of days.
And thank you for trying so hard to stay with me as long as you could, fighting to heal until your very last day. I will never forget how deep you had to dig to find the strength for your rehab walk on our final morning together.
I know that one day, I will be able to look at photos of you again without sobbing. And I know all this pain I am feeling is because I loved you so fiercely and completely, and I wouldn’t trade it for a second I got to spend with you.
But right now, four days after saying goodbye, it feels like the heartbreak will never heal, like I will never smile again.
Rest in peace, my darling Dozer. I will never forget you, and I will never stop loving you.
Love,
Your mum xoxo
Thank you SASH
To the vets and nurses at the Small Animal Specialist Hospital (SASH),
Thank you for the extraordinary care, skill, and kindness you showed Dozer. Every moment, from the medical expertise to the gentle reassurance and cheering him on, meant more to me than I can say. Knowing he was in such capable, compassionate hands gave me comfort during the hardest days. I will always be deeply grateful for everything you did for my beautiful boy. – Nagi x
Take your time Nagi. Little steps at the moment. And know that a whole lot of love is still coming your way.
Holding you in my heart Nagi, so sorry about Dozer. Sending lots of love
So sorry for your loss Nagi, Dozer was an amazing dog that brought joy to us all. Run free, my friend. Lots of Love Suzan
Hi Ngai,
So feel your pain. Like a lot of people who have contacted you we lost our last dog a year ago at 14. He was a rescue and had no love for the first 8 years of his life and was a black Lab. When he came to us we called him Rex as he was … and did … live like a king for the next 6 years. It’s our 3rd in this house and everyone is different and so loveable. When the time is right I look forward to your new dog.
Fe ❤️
♥️
Dear Nagi, as a non cook, you helped me cook again, to see it’s possible. I too am devastated about your loss of beautiful Dozer. Devastated as it brings up the painful memories of losing very cherished dogs of my own. It took me 3 years to get over the loss of my Rhodesian Ridgeback, now I look back and realise I should have got my very loved Dachshund earlier. So much love and joy.
Oh, my dear Nagi. There are no words in the world, other than the ones you said — and you said it so very well. You described a dog’s love perfectly. We all weep with you.
Oh Nagi, heartbroken for you. This is so hard and your love was there in every single post about your beloved Dozer. They take a huge piece of your heart with them. Here’s to the love and memories you and we all have for our four legged angels that reduces us to tears as a sign of how much they meant to us. ‘ May every wave of grief bring you closer to the shore’. Much love from NZ, take care of yourself xxx
Beautiful and heartfelt! 💕 My thoughts and prayers are with you during this difficult time of losing your boy. Take time to heal.
Oh Nagi,
I am so sorry for your loss. I went through a lot of tissues reading this email. I have lost 3 beautiful
Dogs and it doesn’t get easier. You have a lot of beautiful memories, they are there always. God bless you. Carmen 🙏🦴
Am so sorry for the loss of your beautiful boy. He was lucky to have you in his life & clearly loved by one and all.
Dear Nagi, I’m so sorry to hear about Dozer. He was (and will remain) a huge part of who you are and a part of RecipeTin. He may not be there in a physical sense, but he will always be there in a spiritual way. He’ll be watching down on you from the heavens from his pride of place on tge nearest doggy star. Rest in Peace, Dozer. You are loved beyond everything by so many people who love your mum. Thinking of you Nagi and sending lots of love and hugs to you ❤️✝️ 🐕
So many beautiful memories of you and Dozer to cherish always… Rest in peace Dozer.
I am so sorry for your loss, Dozer brought so much joy. I lost my beloved Golden at 16.5 years… that was 2011 and I still feel the pain but I remember my Lucy with happiness. I guess the rawness takes a long time but please remember you gave Dozer the dream life and love we’d all wish for.. he lives on in an awful lot of hearts and minds
My sympathies to you.
Nagi, I am so sorry for the loss of Dozer. I loved reading about the Life of Dozer on your posts and seeing his pictures in my cookbooks. My heartfelt condolences .
Nagi,
thankyou for sharing Dozer with us all, what a beautiful boy !!! he loved you so much, as you loved him:)
you were both blessed !!
love Ngaio
Hang in there Nagi and try to remember the pain is worth the ride. The pain will ease but the memories last forever 💕💕💕
The pain will subside to being just under the surface. Your memories and love for Dozer will be with you for ever.
Hi Nagi,i just wanted to say I’m so so sorry for the lost of Dozer losing an Animal is like losing a family member well it is because they are! It’s devastating I know because I myself have been through losing our beloved Dog a few years ago it was so hard to comprehend on not seeing their joyful cheerful self who always was be beside you no matter what so it a lost that you will never get over but becomes a space in your heart just for them thinking of you as you mourned the loss of Dozer sending strength to you xx
So so sorry to hear of your incredibly sad loss. Having experienced this two years ago when we said goodbye to our beloved spoodle Ruby, I can truly understand your pain. My heart goes out to you. RIP Dozer xx
Feeling your pain, sharing your grief. And thank you for sharing Dozer with all of us!